


Tell me a piece of your history that you've never said out loud

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Child Death, M/M, Past Torture, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:51:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1203451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim found out Bones loved shoulder kisses and from then on he took every possible moment to indulge him. He didn’t quite understand what was so great about them himself, until the day he saw just how comforting that simple gesture could be, especially for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell me a piece of your history that you've never said out loud

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'The Silence' by Bastille

Jim found out Bones _loved_ shoulder kisses and from then on he took every possible moment to indulge him. He didn't quite understand what was so great about them himself, until the day he saw just how comforting that simple gesture could be, especially for him.

The first time it happened it was casual, they were comfortably tangled in each other under the covers and Jim pressed a light kiss to Leo's shoulder. He was surprised at the blissful hum that he got in response as Bones nuzzled up to his chest, but he made a mental note to do that again. And as often as possible, he added as an afterthought.

Whenever he woke up before Leo, he tightened his arms and legs around him and kissed up from his shoulder to his neck to his cheek and by then Bones would turn his head to him and he'd catch his lips, both of them mumbling their good mornings through lovesick grins when they pulled away.

Sometimes Bones was up earlier and slid out of bed without a sound. Jim would wake up, roll over and _pout_ at the empty half of the bed. Most of those days, it just meant he made a quick detour to sickbay before heading to the bridge. Other days he was a bit luckier.

One morning, Jim walked into the bathroom, not even two minutes after he first blinked awake, and found Bones brushing his teeth, fresh out of the shower, with just a towel around his waist. Jim wrapped his arms around it and kissed from the base of his still damp hair to the edge of his shoulder and rested his chin there, watching Leo's smile in the mirror and getting lost in its warmth. Bones leaned into him with a contented sigh and a soft press of his lips to Jim's forehead.

And when they lied back in bed with their names in each other’s voices still ringing in their ears, panting and with every inch of their sweating bodies pressed together, Jim would trail along every freckle on Leo’s shoulders with his lips and tongue. Bones would look at him like Jim was the entire universe and maybe that wasn’t so far from the truth, not for Bones, at least.

 

There was a reason Jim was never the little spoon.

Jim knew Bones could see the scars and he was grateful he never asked about them. Leo always figured he’d tell him when he was ready, if and when that day came.

They were faded and nearly colorless but you could still feel where the bigger gashes had been just by brushing over them. Jim had never had a problem with Leo touching his back, so one night when he felt him tremble under his fingertips and struggle not to flat out jerk away from the contact, Bones stopped.

He stopped and he brought his hands around to cup Jim’s face and he relaxed, easing into the touch and setting his own hands on top of Bones’.

_‘I’m sorry, Jim, you’d never… you’d never complained before.’_

_‘It’s fine, I’m fine.’_

He wasn’t looking up and if he kept biting at his lip like that it would bleed.

_‘You don’t have to tell me.'_

_‘I want to.’_

_‘Only when you’re ready.’_

_‘I am.’_

He met his eyes and Leo could see how much he was fighting inside his head and he couldn’t imagine what could’ve possibly broken his Jim like that. A second later it was all pouring out of him.

He learned about the colony on Tarsus IV. He learned about the scared twelve-year-old boy who was put through months of starvation. He learned about the selfless twelve-year-old boy who risked his own life to help other children.

_‘I couldn’t save most of them… They were my friends. Just kids, Bones, they were just kids.’_

_‘So were you.’_

_‘Never felt like one.’_

He learned about the man who started it all, the man Jim saw and whose face he could never forget even if he tried, and for a long time he really tried to, empty bottles piling up for years, but it never helped.

He learned about the executions.  He learned about the lonely twelve-year-old boy who had to watch his friends get killed one by one because they weren’t good enough to deserve a pulse.

_‘They knew each and every one of us. They’d walk to our settlement and kick doors down and take a kid out with one single shot. And then they’d walk out again, dragging them, and we’d know we had at least another twenty-four hours to live. To be safe, if we behaved.’_

He learned about the reckless twelve-year-old boy who dared to take a stand. He learned about the punishments, about the whips, the stones, the knives and the fires and he learned where they were mapped out on Jim’s skin. He learned about the brave twelve-year-old boy turned hero and now he saw the marks of who broke him when he was keeping others from breaking.

Jim told him he saw a time he failed in each and every scar, and Leo told him he saw all the times he didn’t in every breath he let out and in every spark in his eyes.

He pulled him closer and let him be the one to roll on his side and press his back against Leo’s chest. He was tense, too tense for his own comfort and Bones could feel it. He nuzzled into Jim’s neck and then placed a kiss on Jim’s scarred shoulder. He relaxed immediately with a long, deep breath out as his arms scrambled under the covers to bring his hands up to Bones’ and hold them tight where they were pressing against his chest.

 

Bones found out Jim _needed_ shoulder kisses and from then on he took every possible moment to indulge him.


End file.
